So close
by snowqueen1205
Summary: why does she feel so close yet still so far away"... "...as my friend"... "our prom king and queen!"... "...forever." RxR...
1. Chapter 1

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Another one-shot (maybe not) ! Hope you guys will enjoy… I was kind of bored on waiting for my sister. Haha!...=]

**- Snowqueen1205...=]**

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It was a starry night at our favorite school Alice Academy.

Students were wearing their most elegant gowns and tuxedoes. They were all heading to one place, the schools auditorium. Outside there was a huge streamer, elegantly printed in it were the words "Junior – Senior's Promenade". Yes you have heard it right rather read it right, it's the 2009 Junior – Senior's Prom Night. Of course everyone was exited especially our lovely brunette.

At the Academy's very own dorm …

"Mikan! Are you done?" a certain blonde lad asked impatiently.

"Wait! I'm coming already!" Mikan replied back.

"Hurry up! Can't you see? We're already late!" said the lad very impatient.

"Geez, can't a girl dress up in peace? So Ruka how do I look? Do I just look dashing?" Ruka was extremely mesmerized by Mikan's look tonight, who wouldn't be?

"Hey Ruka, are you alright?" Mikan asked, bewildered on his sudden reaction.

"Of course Mikan, I was just uhh… I was just shock to see how splendid you look tonight" he replied, forgetting that he was even mad at the girl.

"Very well then, let's get going or we might be late"

They hurriedly went to the auditorium together, their hands intertwined.

"Good evening everyone!" the MC greeted, they were just exactly on time. "We finally made it! I thought we won't make it on time" she exclaimed.

Beside them there was also a pair who has just arrived on time.

"Oh! Good evening Luna, Good evening Natsume!" she greeted them with a big happy smile.

Natsume was also mesmerized by the dashing looks of Mikan.

"Good evening Mikan, you look great tonight" Luna greeted back. "Oh, good evening to you too, Ruka"

"Thank you Luna, you look great yourself" Mikan replied back. She has grown up to be a beautiful and elegant woman with the proper etiquette.

Natsume ignored Mikan but deep within himself, he knew what he really wants and need.

They were busy chatting and eating at the same time when suddenly the MC spoke at the microphone.

"Okay guys! Please settle down! Tonight we will announce our very own prom queen and king. Who could be the lucky pair?" Everyone was exited. They were anticipating this.

"For our prom queen! Who could be the lucky girl? Any guess?" Many names were heard among different people.

"Our prom queen is no other than…. Ms. Mikan Sakura! Please come up on stage" Mikan then gently came up from the stage, people began to stare at her then clapped their hands, and they didn't have any doubt that Mikan was the one chosen as the queen.

They placed a tiara on her head then she smiled at the sight of this. Applause was heard from everywhere.

"Well, we have heard our prom queen, let us now prepare for our prom king, who could he be?" Murmurs were once heard again.

"Please come up on stage, our prom king! Mr. Natsume Hyuuga!"

Natsume was shocked and surprised but he didn't let anybody see it. He came up the stage, really exited.

"Congratulations!" his thoughts were broken. A crown was put on his head.

"As the school's tradition, the prom king and queen will be the first to dance . Clear up the center stage please. May I present to you, this year's prom king and queen!" everybody applauded.

Natsume offered his hands for Mikan to hold. "Let's go…" she said to him smiling.

They positioned themselves and started to sway to the tune, people starred at them with awe, thinking that they were truly a perfect couple.

'_I hope your mine Mikan, I hope that I was the one you'll love forever. I love you Mikan. I love you so much!' _He said on his thoughts.

" Hey Natsume, are you alright?" she asked. "You're somehow spacing out" she continued.

"Well… uhm… yes" he has returned to the normal world.

"You know what Natsume…"  
"What?"

"I just want to say thank you"

"Thank you? What for?"

"For giving me the man that I'll love forever"

"Oh… that was nothing" he doesn't want to admit it but it did hurt a lot.

A few seconds of silence engulfed the two of them.

"And Natsume…"

"Hm?"

"I love you"

He was shocked on her words, he was caught of guard, and it was so sudden.

"Haha! I was just kidding, never mind that, and of course I love you as my friend…"

"Oh…" his hopes went down.

Every minute that passed by seems eternity for him. He doesn't want to let her go.

"Excuse me Natsume, can I borrow Mikan?" there goes his thoughts, broken by his very own best friend Ruka

"Oh, that well… Uhm, of course yes" he said, sadly.

"Thanks for the dance Natsume! I did had fun" she smiled.

"Oh well, that's nothing really, I did enjoy it too" he said painfully.

"I better get going then" he said.

"Oh well, bye Natsume, see you around" said Ruka and waved at him.

"Bye Natsume" Mikan said as she smile and wave at him.

He waved back and left the auditorium. He went towards the Sakura Tree, the tree were his love for Mikan grew.

'_So Mikan, graduation is just weeks away and we'll part our ways soon. I'll miss you and don't you ever forget that I love you so much. It sounds so ironic because I've always hated you for what you are, then later on I loved you for what you are… Well I discovered my love for you when…_

_Flashback…_

"_Hi Natsume!" said the gloomy brunette, her usual cheerful attitude was unusually gone._

'_There's something wrong with this idiot' he thought._

"_Hn" his casual reply was._

"_What a cold weather we have here today, it's so weird"_

_Her statement was so ironic because it felt so hot today._

"_What are you saying you idiot, it's already 38__o__c, then you're still feeling cold?" he sneered at her._

"_But I do really feel cold" she was already shivering and she went nearer to Natsume_

'_This baka feel so hot' he thought. He touched her forehead._

'_This baka do fell hot' he said in his thoughts._

_He carried her piggy back style._

"_What are you doing?" she asked innocently._

_He didn't reply. They passed several buildings receiving stares from different students from different divisions. _

_As they were walking he can her panting hard and she murmured "Natsume don't leave me, please" she murmured weakly then fell asleep again. Natsume felt his face reddening._

_As soon as they reached the hospital they were instantly assisted by the medical crew._

_A few minutes later the doctor went out. Natsume stood up. _

"_She's just experiencing a high fever but we gave her some medicine so her fever will go down, you may go visit her now." Then the doctor left him._

_He slowly opened the door and looked at sleeping brunette._

_She muttered "Thank you Natsume… Thank you" then she went back to her slumber. _

_He was blushing but he kept denying it to himself._

_A few days late…_

_Natsume was resting his back at the Sakura Tree._

"_Hey Natsume!" shouted the cheerful brunette._

"_Hn" his ever faithful reply was._

"_Thanks a lot Natsume! I owe you everything!" she said happily._

'_Wow she really does looks cute up close! What am I saying?' he said in his thoughts._

_She suddenly pecked at his cheeks. "That's for my thanks! Bye!" then she skipped off._

_His mind was in shambles, he was so confused._

'_Maybe this is what they call, no it can't be! I can't be in"LOVE"' the word love was the only thing audible that he said and for once he finally agreed with his thoughts._

_End of his very long flashback._

'…_then that was it. I then thought that everything will be perfect, I thought that someday you'll be mine throughout the year, but then again love could play tricks with us.'_

_Flashback…_

"_Natsume! I have very good news for you!" Mikan exclaimed excitedly while jumping with glee._

"_What is it stupid?" he asked somewhat curious._

"_I know for a fact that you knew Ruka right? Well of course! He's your best friend after all, silly me! Well you know that me and Ruka are together already!" she said enthusiastically._

_Natsume felt his jaw dropped from shock_

'_Oh yeah, I remembered Ruka telling me she loves Mikan deeply" he said on his thoughts._

"_Hey Natsume aren't you glad?" she asked._

"_Oh, uhm… of course, congrats, well excuse me" he then left quickly. This made Mikan confused. He rushed towards his favorite place._

"_I thought I could change her heart, I thought that she'll be with me rather than with Ruka why… why... why" he couldn't finish because tears started streaming down his face._

"_Why does she fell so close yet still so far"_

_End of flashback…_

'_Yeah, how could she be this close to me yet she still feels so far away, away from my grasp, away from my loving arms, away from me forever.'_

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**It's done! Yehey me! And my sister is already here also! Reviews please. Anyway do you want any sequel?? Please say so then I'll make one for you guys. Thank! Love you guys! Reviews! God bless!...=] By the way I recommend you the song so close by John McLaughlin and watch the video itself... thanks again!...=] .**

**- Snowqueen1205…=]**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well here is the sequel that some of you have waited…=] I was inspired by what my mom told me last night so here I am inside our clinic typing this story…=]**

**- snowqueen1205…=]**

"_I did like your work, it was your hobby since you were young, and it was great"_

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**SEQUEL…=]**

Few weeks later after their JS Promenade, it was already their graduation day…

Everyone in the academy was rather feeling exited and anxious on what would happen on and after their graduation ceremony.

And just like that, their graduation ceremony has already ended in a jiffy.

"Natsume!" an oh-so familiar voice shouted a voice that he'll surely miss… A voice that should've been his for a long time.

"Hey Natsume" his best friend greeted him.

It did hurt to see them happily…

"Natsume, we've got pleasant news for you! Ruka why not tell him?"

"Well, of course, even I myself is really exited to tell him"

Natsume was bewildered he was really exited to hear on what they would tell him but it seems like it will hurt a lot.

"Me and Mikan are getting married!"

"Isn't that great Natsume?"

'_Ouch that did hurt a lot and it'll hurt forever'_

… and finally together, _forever …_

"Ow, that's nice, what a great news" pft. What a fake statement.

"Well, Ruka and I have decided that you'll become his groomsmen since you're his best friend anyways" she smiled a smile so sweet, happy yet… fake?

"I'm really hoping to see you there buddy. Well, we better get going"

"Bye Natsume! See you SOON"

'_Soon, what did that mean? Soon you'll leave my grasp and my sight'_

'_Soon… Is that the right word?'_

And soon afterwards it was already the wedding day of Mikan and Ruka. Everything was wonderful and elegant. Everything was arranged. Everything was according to plan yet…

"Excuse me Ruka but we need to start already…" the wedding coordinator said.

"But Natsume's still not here yet. Let us wait for him. Five more minutes."

Somewhere…

Time was ticking, time was passing by, and time was slowly drifting.

There was a guy over some trees, wearing a tuxedo that said guy has a sad look on his face and a gloomy aura.

"Maybe this time, they're already happy and peacefully together" he was talking to no one in particular or maybe the wind?

He felt a deep regret within his heart. He felt awful, sad, and miserable and he knew that something or rather someone in particular is missing in his life now.

At the said Church where the glamorous wedding is being held…

"I'm sorry, but we need to start already and most importantly the bride is already there, we need to start even without him."

"Well, I guess I have no other choice, let us begin."

And on cue the pianist lead the song and everyone stared at the angelic beauty cloaked with white.

She was walking slowly and elegantly along the aisle. She is wearing a very stunning dress. She was smiling and crying… at the same time? But why?

Then suddenly in the middle of everything…

"Mikan! Mikan!" the crowd gathered.

Almost a year has flown by so fast.

He was already packing his stuff while clutching a letter envelope. He glanced around for the last time then he closed the door gently. He rode the taxi then left towards the airport.

He was already in the airport's terminal and it seems like he was spacing out. He was lost deep within his thoughts.

'_Will I ever find another person like you AGAIN?'_

While he was walking along the terminal ***bam***…

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I… I was just thinking about something… I didn't notice"

"Well, it's okay… Ruka?"

"Natsume?"

"It has been a long time how've you been?"

"Well, I've been doing fine. How about you?"

"Well, fine of course" he noticed that there was no brunette girl beside him, he did not dare ask t for he doesn't want to get hurt again nor maybe hurt his very own best friend.

"You've changed a lot Ruka, you became thin. So where are you heading?"

"Well, diet, I guess… You've changed a lot too, you seem rather friendly rather than the past. Well I'm going to the Philippines."

"The Philippines? Why go there?"

"Well, I've decided to study there about a lot of thing I haven't learned here and maybe I might find there what I've been looking for. So where are you heading?"

"Well, I'm not heading anywhere, I actually work here, and I'm an officer here"

"Oh, that explains it. It has been a while, and who have thought that we'll meet here in most places."

"Yeah, it is really unexpected."

"Well, I better get going Natsume, or I my airplane might leave me here, see you around sometimes."

"Okay, bye then Ruka"

"Oh wait Natsume, I forgot to give you this" he handed him the envelope. He stared at it for a while.

"Ruka what…" he didn't finish his sentence because he was nowhere to be found already.

He kept the envelope securely inside the pocket of his tuxedo and decided to head to his office to read the letter there.

He opened the envelope and found two letters inside it. The one was plain white and the other one was rather girly?

He then decided to read the white one first.

**Natsume,**

**When you have read this letter I might have been far away already. I'm so lucky that we have met again and maybe it was the most unexpected place to be. I've always known how much you have loved Mikan dearly, I've always known how hurt you were, and I'm sorry. Right now you might be wondering why I wasn't with Mikan while we met, when you knew that Mikan and I never parted, then again I want to say sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't save her. I was too late Natsume, I was so afraid. I went to the Philippines not only to study but also to forget her for a while or maybe for forever. I cannot hide the fact that she has loved you so dearly and wholeheartedly, maybe she has loved you more than she can love me. You've always won her heart Natsume, you've always own her, but it was something that I cannot do, it was her decision. It was against me of course, but it was her final wish to me and I cannot do anything. I'm so sorry Natsume, I'm sorry for keeping a lot of secret from you. I knew that a lot changed in your life. And I also did expect that you would not come on our wedding day and maybe it was really a wise decision because you might get hurt even more. I'm really sorry Natsume. Deep within my heart I truly regret the past that happened but even I cannot blame Mikan. I do hope that we'll meet again, and I'm sure about it. Till then…**

**Ruka**

'_What is Ruka talking about? I'm getting a lot more confused. I won her heart already. But why did Mikan did this? Why did she…' _his thoughts were confused then he remembered the other letter inside the envelope _'could this mean that this letter was written by Mikan' _he was excited to read the letter but still he feels that he doesn't want to do it. But he doesn't have any other choice but to do it.

He gently unfold the letter.

**To my beloved Natsume, **

**Hi Natsume! It has been a while. How've you been? Haha! I don't know why I did ask you that, because I'm certain that I'll never know your answer. Well if you'll ask me on how I've been I'm certainly lying if I'll tell you I'm fine. You know how much of a big fat liar I have been and I hate myself for that. I've tried to forget that I love you, I tried to forget that you were my missing piece. I hated myself so much. I don't know why I even did love you even if you don't notice my love for you. Even thou you didn't love me, I'm here loving you forever. Why do I even love you even thou I knew that you love someone. I don't know why I love you that much. I don't know how long I'll resist the pain. Maybe I did love you because you are unique. I tried to forget you but every time I failed. Then one day I discovered that you love me through Ruka. On that day I became the happiest person on earth, and then on that same day I also did knew that I was already dying. I need to make my decision to either to continue my love for you or to hurt you because I might leave you all alone. I talked to Ruka to help me forget about you, every time I saw you looking at us, I hint the hurt that was visible in your eyes, and I felt really hurt. I thought Ruka could help me forget about you but it never really worked out. Remember our prom? When we were crowned as the prom queen and king I was really anticipating it and I was so glad about the result. Remember that I told you I love you as a friend? That was a fraud, I love you more than friend, I love you for who you are, I felt relieved when you told me that I felt so happy yet I'm still not contented I'm still yearning for you. Then we decided to get married, it was against the both of us but I have no other choice 'cause I'm already dying. I knew that you're so hurt when we told you about that, I saw that in your eyes. So here I am writing and a few days it will be our wedding day, I don't want to have any regrets but I can't help it. I love you so much Natsume and it also hurts a lot. I'm so sorry. I just want to say goodbye, so long Natsume, so long.**

**Mikan**

Natsume was so shock to read those letters. He didn't even bother to move. He was however either hurt or plainly just struck. _'So she did love me after all but it was to late…'_

The letters kept flashing on his mind, he kept wondering and asking himself.

Then one day he received an e-mail from his best friend.

Hi Natsume!

I've already reached the Philippines and we have a vacation next month so I'll be returning back there. I'll meet you at the airport. Let's have some chat.

Ruka

"Proper timing.. I'll be waiting for your Ruka. I'll be waiting for your explanation."

And the day came when Ruka returned to Japan. And he did meet with Natsume. They dined inside some fancy restaurants.

"So how have you been Natsume?"

"Fine and you?"

"I'm fine" a few moments of silence engulfed them.

"Uhm… Natsume, I need to tell you something"

"I've been waiting for it Ruka, for a long while since you have given me those letters"

"I know how much confused you were, well first I want to tell you I'm sorry"

He didn't reply.

"Mikan actually passed away months and months ago"

That caught him off guard. "What?"

"She died, she died while walking along the aisle, and she died before we were even married"

"I thought…"

"That's why at the same time I was also glad that you didn't came there 'because I knew that you'll be hurt"

Natsume was left there staring at his drink.

"I couldn't save her Natsume. It was so late that time. I couldn't protect her for you"

"It was not your fault Ruka and either ways I'd still feel the same way"

'_I cannot hide the fact that life could've been better with you in it. But I guess your decision was for me after all. I love you Mikan and I'll always will'_

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**Finished!.. Well, how was it?. Was it sooooo boring? I was somewhat running out of ideas already. Well, hope ya'll review. Thanks a lot!...=]**

**This episode is dedicated to ****those who wanted a sequel****, I hope I didn't disappoint you. Thanks a lot!**

**I hope you do read my other one-shot, "What matters most" (.net/s/4765063/1/What_Matters_Most), I would really appreciate it!.. And please read my other fictions particularly "Capture my stolen heart"(.net/s/4261423/1/Capture_My_Stolen_Heart)**

**Lave ya'll!**

**- snowqueen1205**


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